The Guest List

So I've been reading some interesting advice about weddings and wedding planning. I came across this article about guest lists on CNN.com. Basically, it came with a list of questions to ask people to see if they know anything about you, or if they've ever been involved in your life. Here is a copy of the questions:

1) Name the city I'm living in now (Good one to weed folks out, especially if you have moved a lot. Don't use this if you've lived in the same place for 10 years).

2) Name at least two of my closest friends.

3) Name my current employer and my past employer (Again, if you've remained in the same job for 15 years, this does not apply).

4) Do I have any kids?

5) Do you know the name of my fiancé? Bonus question: Where and when did we meet?

6) Do you know where my parents are and whether they are still alive? (Imagine a friend at your wedding asking how long have your parents been married when they divorced years ago).

7) Name at least two of my hobbies.

8) How old am I? (My favorite is when family friends would query, 'Are you 28 now?" Imagine their surprise when I proclaimed, 'yeah, 10 years ago!')

9) Where did I go to college? (Some people might not remember whether you attended college or even graduated.)

10) Name my last boyfriend before this engagement. Bonus question: if you can name the last two and why we broke up. If you get the bonus question right, that might automatically get you in.

Scoring helps determine whether you get invited.

If you score 50 percent or below, you definitely are not getting invited.

If you score barely over 50 percent, you are on the waiting list. If someone who scored better than you cannot attend, you might get an invitation. This barely acceptable person who might be invited may get you a great gift because of their guilt for scoring so low.

If you score over 60 percent, you get an invitation.

Now, you don't have to be as extreme as I would love to be and send these questions with the save the date card. However, imagine if, over the course of your engagement, you pitch these questions to a few prospective guests just to see how they do.

In the end, what matters most is a beautiful wedding day and a sustained marriage.

Wouldn't you like to celebrate it with loved ones who are invested in your past and present in addition to your future? Plus, it will help you avoid the embarrassing introduction of your new husband to someone who didn't even realize until that moment that you didn't marry your college sweetheart, whom you haven't seen in 15 years!

Here is the website it is located: http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/08/01/wedding.list.quiz/index.html

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I do find these questions amusing, and I think all the important people will definitely pass. Now, it does bring up a good point that sometimes the guest list becomes over inflated, and the guest count plays a huge factor in the budget. A difference of 10 people could mean thousands dollars or so. Family, I feel should get an invitation, whether or not you can answer these questions. Heck, my [Donna] parents might not pass this test since they are so far away and have never been able to keep track of all our details. Also, the fact is that one uncle/auntie cannot get invited without the other. Most of those family members who will come have already been to my sister's and cousin's wedding last year, and should be up to date enough with Paul and me.

I would like to invite as many as people as can fit into our budget. It is an important event that we'd want to share with family and close friends, but our venue and budget is limited so if our guest list does inflate passed capacity, I might have to figure out a plan to trim some people out...and that might be a little challenging. Because there are some people we don't see or talk to often, but I feel that they are extremely important to me/Paul. Also, I don't want to invite anyone that I feel hasn't been a "friend" to me. That means did something very unfriendly like in the past and hasn't rectified it or tried. I feel that there shouldn't be too many of those, and if there are, we probably stopped talking a long time ago...but still it can be tricky. What if they don't know that you're still kind of pissed? =P

I'm hoping that everything will fall into place, everyone will be happy and understanding...weddings kind of force you to have a perspective on things that you wouldn't normally have to think or do anything about. I mean honestly if I didn't like a person for one reason or another, I don't have to talk or interact with that person very much. If we see each other at functions, then we just don't hang out. But if it is an event where you must pick and sort out people into categories of friends, acquaintances, and non-friends, then watch out! Not looking forward to this part of the process, but hopefully, we won't have to resort to that.